5 Months

Can you believe it, our little guy is five months old today. Everyone always says time flies when you have kids and that is certainly the truth.

This week marked a big milestone for us, as Lucas moved into his crib and into his own room. I didn't feel ready for this, as I liked the security of being able to peek at him constantly throughout the night, but the time had come. Peter and I feel a little lonely in our room without our little guy sleeping soundly in his bassinet next to us. The problem was that he really wasn't sleeping soundly at all. Although the bassinet is rather large, he was clearly outgrowing it. When I would wake up to him crying or moving in the middle of the night, his little legs were up on the side of the bassinet like a recliner and his arms stretched outside of it (he is a sprawler). The padding in it is also only about one inch thick, clearly not enough to support a 16 somthin' pound baby. Between the teething, growing pains, and cramped sleeping quarters, Lucas, nor the rest of us, were getting any sleep. I literally felt like a walking zombie who couldn't put together a coherent sentence (hence the break from blogging) for the past week and a half. So, our little man is now in his crib in his own room. It seems to be helping all of us get a much better night sleep. Although I must admit he is sleeping so well, the first few nights I was up ALL night checking on him and waiting for him to wake up. He is so sweet and cuddly in his sleepy states, I am missing him being next to us, but it was time for him to move up in the world.

The next big event will be slowly starting him on rice cereal. Lately, he has been really watching us eat at dinner time. I decided to give him some milk with a spoon last week and he thought it was the coolest thing. It is the little things in life.

I can't believe it has been five months already. I literally feel like just yesterday I was pregnant and wondering what life would have in store for us. We feel beyond fortunate to have Lucas at home with us and for him to be doing so well. Happy five months buddy!
(Lucas is loving his bouncer his buddy Colton is letting him use.)

Check Up

Lucas had a cardiology appointment this week and things are looking good. Lucas is now at 4.5 months old, nearly 16 lbs and is 24.5 inches long. He is growing like a weed and changing every day. Oxygen sats are in the mid 80's.. thank goodness! The best news is that we don't have to go back for 2 whole months..that is a record! It is now time for vaccinations and such, yay!!

There are no changes in his meds, we were hoping to decrease the lasix.. poor little guy goes through more diapers than could be imagined...oh well. His blood pressure was better, 84/52, way better than the high 150's (systolic) we were seeing in the hospital. He is so amazing and the best blessing we could have imagined. Thank you for all of your continued prayers!

The five minute hike…

We thought it would be nice to go on our first family hike since the weather has been cooling down beautifully. Peter and I love to be outside, and we thought it would be an enjoyable experience to get outside for the day. Well it turned into quite a comical experience but not much actual hiking was done. I guess we are rookie parents to assume we’d get very far with a four month old.

We researched local hikes on the internet because we weren’t sure if we should go into any altitude quite yet. By the time Lucas was fed, changed, dressed, and happy we got on our way. When we finally got to the place we were the internet said we were supposed to be, and there was not another soul around, it was VERY desolate and all of the water ways had dried up from the summer heat. It felt a little weird that we were the only people out this way, so we decided to bypass this spot and try to find another. We ended up driving almost all the way around the lake only to end up at the entrance closest to our house…not that exciting, but we decided to give it a try. We drove in the other direction around the lake quite far again, my hope was to find a nice shady, plush trail around the lake in order to keep Lucas cool and out of the sun. Well I guess we should have driven to Oregon or Washington or something because we certainly weren’t finding my ‘perfect’ day hike in this town. We finally found an acceptable spot with some shade and decided to give it a try.

I am sure we looked like the Griswolds or something. Trying to get Lucas into the baby carrier is quite a task when you can’t pick him up under his arms. First we attempted to have him in the pack on Peter’s back, which leaves me trying to hold Lucas up on Peter’s back with one hand while trying to strap and Velcro him in with the other hand, while Peter is hunched forward with arms out in an airplane position trying to stay steady…not an easy task with a squirmy baby. Of course as soon as we got him situated he started crying, now realizing he could be hungry given that fact that we had driven for SO long to get to this ‘remote’ spot. So, now we had to dismount him from the hard earned back mount. He ate and seemed to be happy once again, so we decided to forgo the back carrying until we can pick him up under his arms. We got him situated again and were on our way, our dog is so patient. We then realized that this location we ended up at wasn’t really a trail at all, but a very short, sunny, dirt road for service vehicles. About 2.5 minutes into this hike, Lucas was not having it; I don’t blame him the scenery was far from plush. In attempts to keep him out of the beaming sun we put a blanket tucked in under his chin draped over the carrier to keep his arms and legs shaded, probably very hot, and quite a look for Peter I must say (I wish I had pictures of this). We ended up turning around shortly thereafter much to our dog’s dismay.

Hiking just wasn’t meant to be today. After about a three hour drive we ended up ‘hiking’ for a total of five minutes, but we have a dirty car and dog to show for our big day. Not quite the hike we had envisioned, but nonetheless a fun day!

Pride

January 6, 2009 we found out that our beautiful boy has a severe congenital heart defect. For many days Peter and I sat in the dark and mourned over the news, there were days we literally did not turn on a light or move off of the couch. How do you go on when you know the life inside of you will have to fight so hard to make it in the world? We wondered if Lucas would even make it out of the hospital, if he would ever smile at us or laugh. That day was literally the hardest day of life so far for us. All of the emotions and excitement of the first 20weeks of pregnancy come crashing down and you wonder how you will ever go on. Now just nine months later our amazing son is here and thriving, Lucas has not only endured three operations and many days in the hospital, but he smiles at us constantly and has more tenacity and stubbornness (a Rietkerk trait) than anyone I have seen.

It is so hard and draining for me to continuously explain his defect to the world. As we see people we haven’t seen in a while people look at me with such pity and a look of ‘how do you do it?’ To be honest, I would do it in again for Lucas in a second. To me I don’t want Lucas to be pitied, I want him to be respected and honored for what he has been through, and most importantly treated like a little boy. I know I cannot expect everyone to understand his defect, but I wish I could shout to the world that he and all of the cardiac kids are the most amazingly strong people, and they should not be pitied.

I feel like I have to defend Lucas and battle the rumor mill a lot these days. I have gotten many questions such as ‘is he severely developmentally delayed,’ ‘has he even gotten out of the hospital yet,’ ‘does he breath on his own,’ ‘is he thriving?’ I know these are valid questions when dealing with a sick child, as we had similar concerns upon the diagnosis, but they are hard to answer again and again, I feel like Lucas was being counted out if that makes sense. To answer all of the questions: Lucas is doing so well, his weight gain is better than anyone expected, he is teething, smiling, cooing, and playing. He is not developmentally delayed, in fact he seems to be ahead of the curve at this point, and really ahead of the curve if you consider he was five weeks early. He eats like a (small) horse. As he is napping next to me right now, his six month onesie isn’t at all too big for his 4 month self. It is difficult for me to adjust to feeling like we are on an island. We have been entrenched and living this journey and to us it feels normal, it is hard when you stop and realize that this isn’t normal for everyone.

I am writing all of this because for the past several months, I have been suppressing a lot of emotions in order to get through these challenging times. Nine months ago, I was not able to imagine enduring what we have endured; I didn’t think we’d ever get to this point, and we do have more to go. Believe me when I say that it is a lot for a family to go through. There has been so much worry, heartache, fatigue, stress, and pain for our son, but mostly pride. I wish when people heard our story instead of looking at us with pity, they would see our pride. We are so proud of Lucas. Every day I look at him in amazement, not only because of how amazing life is and the fact that Peter and I created this amazing little boy is astonishing and truly a blessing, but also because Lucas has defied our fears. We are so proud!